Thursday, July 28, 2011

my experience on tuesday and wednesday this week

right now, I wish my colleagues don't read my blog..he he :)
Three days ago, on monday and tuesday I went to Semarang. I went with my colleagues for quality assurance training/workshop.
We have usual agenda, nothing special...but after the training is over, thats began my experience. I ask Mr Gentur kindness so he allow me to join with him to go back to Jogjakarta, and he is so nice to give me ride with his car. God know how nice he is, because he told me that he also gave ride his neighbor, a couple husband and wife who already old (grandpa and grandma).
He also put my bag very carefully.
He said, that the car will be little bit hot because his neighbor can't stand of cold..but i am happy, because i don't like air conditioner too.
What I see the next was surprised me, the car ran so slow because his neighbor is old and can't stand a lot of night wind.
He is so patient to talk with them softly even I know Mr Gentur was tired.
Oh my God, I shame because at that time, I know that maybe I almost forget to be patient...I always complain to Allah SWT.
When I still be teacher, I patient to handle my students. I know, right now, i'm not patient. I become hurry person...work here, make me hurry, careless, like other person here. This experience teach me to back be patient person...how nice Allah SWT.
And Mr Gentur gave ride until my uncle house..see how nice he is.
Dear Allah SWT, just You the one who can give back His Kindness to Mr Gentur.
Then on wednesday, I was planning to met my sister but she have another appointment with her friend, and I was waiting for one hour. I was angry but I realize that I have to be patient, God doesn't always grant my wish. I have to learn first.
Learn to be patient just like when i be teacher. I promise to Allah SWT that I never be change, I will be myself and this experience teach me to back to be myself.
Thanks to Allah SWT. I promise to be myself, a patient person.
Beside, i remember what Mr Gentur said in the workshop, 'Pearl is always shining everywhere'.
So, its mean I can be shine/sparkling everywhere he he :) everyone is pearl, right, just if they are good person.
Do we a pearl or just fake diamond?
I be myself who honest, like a child and patient person, what ever people said to me.

Monday, July 25, 2011

back to reality

Dear my blog

I feel like a year, I didn't write in my blog.
I just focus on my jobs...I forget what my dream. sometime is okay if I focus on my jobs, but i just feel guilty if i have jobs but I can't finish my jobs. Thats my responsibility to finish my jobs.
I just remember what Nico said to me,'you have to write and make paper for everything you have done'.
Yes, Mr Nico, I do it...I DO IT.....thanks to support me Nico.
and i still remember that i promise to you, someday i send you a ticket to japan, we meet in japan.
pray for me, Nico, so i can fulfill my promise to you.
I have to back to reality..i have to work hard.
I promise to you allah SWT, I try to be sahibul lail. teach me Allah, and please guide me to be better person. amin.
Love you Allah. lets back work and try to make an essay (try one essay) okay.
I promise Allah.

Thursday, July 07, 2011

Selfish person

Baru kali ini saya benar-benar membenci orang.....saya benci dengan orang yang sangat egois, dengan memanfaatkan ketidakmampuannya untuk menyuruh orang bekerja....saya tidak tahu apakah orang-orang itu punya hati, saya hanya berdoa biar Allah saja yang membalasnya....bukan saya menyumpahi, bagaimana bisa orang-orang pergi jalan-jalan, belanja, sedangkan saya bekerja....mereka mungkin lupa bahwa Allah Maha Melihat. Aku BENCI orang-orang itu, aku benci.....SEUMUR HIDUPKU AKU TIDAK MEMAAFKAN MEREKA...AKU BENCI MEREKA

Wednesday, July 06, 2011

'Sigh', cry, then Allah SWT remind me. Thanks Allah...I love YOU

Today, after yesterday, I still wondering if i get legal or illegal money, do I deserve get the money? While I still confuse and heard so many advise...I cry when I pray until my eyes red....but Dear Allah SWT...You know the best answer, You the owner of everything, You the one who know, what must I do.
Dear God, I hold You so tight, I rely on You, I depend on You.
I ask You, God, how I can solve my problems?
God, I shame to You, You know exactly that actually i know the best answer of my problems.
God, I don't find justification about what I do, I just ask Your help to avoid the bad things.
You know I have to face the reality, 'the habit' that I don't like at all.
Please teach me to accept what I have now, i have to let go my imagination and be brave to face the reality..
Ya Allah SWT, I know I have to learn to be patient, I am afraid now, God, about my principle, myself.
I am afraid, I will be lose myself. It is not about I don't want to change, i just afraid I'm not in Your way anymore.
Hold me, God..help me, guide me always to Your way.
Today, I heard 'the thing' that I try to avoid it and i get 'the thing'.........I cry, I ask You, Allah SWT, please tell me,what must I do????
This evening, while I cry to You, to ask Your help...I think maybe I just pretend I'm okay, I'll be fine but I'm not.
But.....Allah SWT know the best, right? when I went home with Bu Hasmi and stop to waiting public transit...I saw a poor family......I almost cry....Allah remind me and also give best answer...Thanks Allah SWT.
They collect garbage plastic, they are father, mother and three kids with wood cart....Ya Allah SWT, please forgive me....they just passing by, and the mother smile to me...I smile to her and she said,'thanks beautiful girl', I cry...and i realize I get my answer.
THANKS ALLAH SWT for always beside me.

Sincerely, this is for You, Allah SWT.

Tuesday, July 05, 2011

Holiday

If I still be teacher right now, I enjoy my day because now is holiday time at school.
I will wake up late, having fun all of day, watching television and cooking everyday..:)
Right now, it just a dream, but I believe someday I also enjoy my day, because I realize how precious my life.
I grateful with everything I have right now, because I learn to let go what is not belongs to me anymore, including money thats not belong to me.
I don't care what people say, I live with my own way, as long as I don't hurt people and I am still in Allah SWT way is okay.
Dear God, thanks to teach me.
So, let me think me, what must i do in holiday time ( i don't get holiday time) but just pretend i get holiday time, hmmm....i go to book fair, buy a lot of books, read all of books that i buy, buy merchandise to my cousin, watch movies with my cousin, go to klaten, eat so many foods so my weight will be up, make my nephew laugh and angry.
So, lets celebrate summer holiday.....yeahhh....:)
How about next sunday, I make cupcake for Kaka...good idea... Lets do it.