I am afraid of YOU, ALLAH SWT and I find YOU

Since yesterday and today at 5.30 PM, I joined ESQ training.
And today, I was scared....when the light turn off and the room be dark....the sound system turn very loud....with scare music....
i am scare..so I am looking for YOU, ALLAH SWT...actually at that time...I said,"Ya ALLAH SWT, I am scare, please help me...this situation make me uncomfortable...I am afraid to YOU, ALLAH SWT......
I believe Allah SWT help me to make me calm down....oh GOD,....
Well, at least I learn something and I find another friends.
I just now, that Citra is good listener...she can read me...I think it will be nice if Citra and me have a lot conversation and we can know each other...
If we grateful with all that we have....everything will be okay and I prove it, I feel grateful with join ESQ training (even first time I am not sure to join this training, but I believe Allah SWT give the best, so I go to ESQ training for ALLAH SWT) and I am happy because I know Citra, and I like it.....Thank God.
So EVERYTHING WILL BE OKAY. Amin

Morning time

if I sad, I always talk to Allah SWT, I ask His Mercy and His Blessing to help me solve my problem, to cheers me up.
And suddenly this morning, everything seem to be okay.
I dont care what happen, but I feel so calm, and peace...he he :)
Thanks ALLAH SWT.

Hari ini

Kadang-kadang, bahkan sering saya berpikir, mungkin saya lebih bahagia dibuat menangis murid-murid saya (saya menangisi kebaikan murid-murid saya yang membuat saya terharu) dibanding saya menangis karena orang-orang dewasa disekitar saya.
Saya tidak komplain dengan nikmat yang Allah berikan, tapi saya heran dengan berbagai alasan yang dikemukan orang agar orang-orang tersebut merasa benar.
Dear Allah SWT, just only You, The One who always right,
The One who always beside me when I cry
The One who always cheers me up after I cry.
I LOVE YOU, ALLAH SWT.
Saya mungkin cengeng, hanya gara-gara orang yg minta tolong untuk disegerakan urusannya dan meminta saya dgn beberapa kalimat.....bukan saya tidak suka, tapi saya merasa gaya bicara orang tersebut seperti saya seorang pembantu...mungkin saya yg sensitif...tapi saya tidak menyukainya...
saya juga tahu betapa lelahnya badan bila sudah berjalan jauh....tapi apakah orang-orang juga lupa bahwa saya juga manusia yang merasa lelah dan capek? siapa yang suruh untuk jalan-jalan.
bukan saya tidak suka jalan-jalan, tapi saya jalan-jalan bila saya sudah tidak ada kerjaan...bukan saya sok......
salahkah saya bila saya merasa lelah.....kenapa orang boleh capek dan lelah, tapi saya harus stand by.....
bukan saya malas.......bukan, tapi saya merasa sendirian.....sendiri di sebuah ruang besar....
saya rindu suara tawa murid-murid saya......saya rindu kebersamaan bersama mereka.....
saya ingin saat-saat melakukan kegiatan bersama dengan murid-murid saya terulang kembali....
saat dimana kerjasama itu terasa dan ada.....
segala hal akan indah pada waktunya dan saya yakin apapun yang terjadi pada saya saat ini adalah pilhan terbaik dari Allah SWT.
Saya bisa belajar banyak hal, terutama dalam hal menghargai orang.....dan yang pasti belajar lebih sabar lagi.
Bila kata orang, GURU adalah pekerjaan yang penuh kesabaran...maka saya mengatakan,'menjadi guru membuat saya otomatis menjadi sabar...karena menjadi contoh bagi murid-murid saya....tetapi menjadi pegawai di kantor ternyata butuh kesabaran yang lebih luar biasa terutama dalam menghadapi orang-orang yg notabene lebih tua dibanding kita tetapi kelakuannya melebihi kelakuan anak-anak TK..sungguh suatu ironi, berada bersama orang yg lebih tua tetapi tidak dewasa.
Hari ini membuat saya menangis...mungkin saya hanya mengingat hal yang buruk...tetapi tidak...
saya juga akan mengingat bahwa hari ini ada seseorang yang berbaik hati menaktir saya dan mengajak jalan-jalan untuk membeli oleh-oleh...terima kasih ALLAH SWT.

I hate the way some people talk

I AM NOT YOUR MAID....STOP TALKING LIKE I AM YOUR MAID, WHY PEOPLE TALK TO SOMEBODY VERY ARROGANT, THEY THINK THEY ARE GREAT PERSON, MAYBE THEY FORGET THAT ALLAH SWT, THE OWNER OF THIS WORLD, NEVER SHOW OFF....BUT ALWAYS GIVE MERCY.
WHERE ARE THEIR MIND (FOR ARROGANT PEOPLE)?..YOU THINK I AM YOUR SERVANT WHO ALWAYS DO ANYTHING YOU WANT IMMEDIATELY.......
I HATE IT. I HATE PEOPLE TREATMENT ME LIKE THAT......
IS NOT ABOUT STATUS OR HOW TO APPRECIATE ME, THIS IS ABOUT HOW YOU RESPECT PERSON......
PLEASE GOD, GIVE ME, YOUR BLESSING SO I CAN STAND UP.

Smile

I want to see smile.
Not one smile, but a lot of smile.
I am smile with my heart, because I think the world is more beautiful if we are smile.
I am smile because of Allah SWT, so He also smile to me.
Allah SWT give His mercy and His kindness to me, to guide me,
because I forget to do charity, thats why Allah SWT remind me,
please forgive me, Allah
Maybe I am too greedy now.
Is not because I am afraid to be poor?
Is not because I want to keep money?
This is about I have to back to be myself.
I have to be me again.
I almost forget that I am not a shopaholic person....
I always learn to save money.
Now, I forget, for what I spend my money,
I waste my time, my money for expensive things and for nothing.
I have to focus with my dream....
This is my time,
remember Erlin.
Touch the sky, fly very high....
A smile can bring me back to the reality.
I HAVE TO BACK...
I have to get my spirit again...
Smile erlin...smile
Just be patient..
Use my passion to fulfill my dream :)
Bismillah.

Rain

Hei Rain...
Why you take a long time to come?
Finally rain say hallo to me last night....
even rain come just for a moment...
I love the smell of rain...
the smell of air ....
Rain...rain...
please bring my luck....
please bring all of my sin to the sea...
please bring all of my pain to the air...
I pray to Allah SWT..
please guide me to the right way..
hold my hand..God, so You always beside me.
Amin