Wednesday, September 28, 2011

I find my answer

Finally, I find my answer.
Yeah.....cihui after ashr pray, hmm, no no, actually before I pray...I find the answer.
I find the answer that I'm looking for.
I don't know what happen with me, just suddenly I remember my mother (I remember my mother everyday, but its look like I am talking with her, I am talking with my mother......I don't dare to dream like this...but its like real...after I pray, I'm talking with her),
and then I get the answer.
I ask Allah SWT, what am I doing right now?
I don't know what I am doing, I don't know what I am looking for....
So I ask Allah SWT....
Then I realize, that finally Allah SWT give me the answer.
Alhamdulillah, makasih ya Allah SWT.
I like your answer.
Ya Allah SWT, I like the way You give me the answer...(You give answer with allow me to talk with my Mom)
I like it.
Thanks Allah SWT.
I promise to You, that I never complain again about my job....because I know why I am here now.
I know what I am doing right now...
I just want to make myself clear...that.....I have to touch the sky and I have fly very high.....
Because I know that my mother allow me to do whatever I like...whatever I want to do....
Because my mother know, that I am doing the right things for me, because Allah SWT is always beside me to guide me....
Dear Mom,
don't worry, I'm okay,
I already in the middle of the river, so I don't want to look behind...I just want to get the other side of the river.
That's my Mom tell to me to cheers up me....
So, Mom...I prove to you that I get my dream, I reach my goals....

I LOVE TODAY....THANKS ALLAH SWT.

Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Every day is beautiful.

I hope, every day is beautiful....of course every day is beautiful, but I don't realize it.
The sky isn't bright today....
the sky is cloudy today because last night was rain...
Rain whose bring a lot of bless from Allah....
Rain whose bring my memory back....

The sky is cloudy now...
The atmosphere remind me of my students...
My students who I left behind...
My memory play in my head and don't want to go...
Its make me feel blue...
because at this time...I used to be laughing with my students...
I used to be drink hot ginger with my mom...
I used to hugs my mom at rainy time...

I wish I make my new memory..
My new story...
Beautiful as my old memory...
Because I am the one who write my destiny...
I am the one who make my choice...
I am the one who choose my own way...

Dear Allah..
Thanks for everything..
Thanks for cloudy day...
This atmosphere remind me..
when I am still child and play in the rain..
I can't look back ..
I have to step forward...
To see my future...

But I believe this is right way...
because I know, Allah is always beside me.
I have You, Allah.
And I believe...
someday I back to teach again....
I always believe.....
Thanks Allah SWT

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Andai aku bisa melakukannya????

I wish at this time, I can cry or yell very loud, but I know maybe it useless,
I wish I understand what happen with me....how come to be grateful is very hard?
Maybe I am the one who very selfish?
Who knows?
I wish I can do anything that I like, but I can't.
I always blame myself if something not right in my eyes......even I don't know if thats my fault or not.
I wish I am very confident to say, how good I am, how precious I am....can I say it?
I really really wish I can cry.